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Recently added Joke : There once was a young couple who lived in a town filled with crime. After three neighbors` houses had been robbed, the couple decided to get a guard dog. So one day the wife went to the pet store and said, `I need a good guard dog.` And the clerk replied, `Sorry, we`re all sold out. All we have left is this little Scottie dog. But he knows karate.` The wife didn`t believe him so he said to the dog, `Karate that chair.` The dog went up to the chair and broke it into pieces, then he said to the dog, `Karate that table.` The dog went up to the table and broke it in half. So the wife bought the dog and took it home to her husband who was expecting a big guard dog. But then she told her husband that it knew karate, and he said `Karate my ass!` [ Details ] Joke : A young man is wandering around the zoo looking at the animals. He suddenly remembers about an appointment that he scheduled. Unfortunately, he forgot his watch. He searches for someone who could give him the time. He sees a zoo keeper standing next to an elephant. `Excuse me, sir,` says the young man `Do you know what time it is?` The zoo keeper reaches under the elephant, grabs his balls and starts playing with them. `Mmmmm, it is about 3:00,` the zoo keeper responds. The young man looks at him in awe, `How did you know that?` The zoo keeper looks back at the man, `I looked at the clock on the wall right behind you.` [ Details ] Joke : A guy burned both of his ears... so they were asking him at the hospital how it happened. He said, `I was ironing my clothing and the phone rang... So, instead of the phone I picked up the iron and burned my ear...` `But how the heck did you burn the other ear?` The doctor asked. `They called back.` [ Details ] Joke : Three Doctors are dicussing which types of patients they prefer. Doctor Watson says, `I prefer librarians. All their organs are alphabetized.` Doctor Fitzpatrick says, `I prefer mathematicians. All their organs are numbered.` Doctor Ahn says, `I prefer lawyers. They are gutless, heartless, brainless, spineless, and their heads and rear ends are interchangeable.` [ Details ] Joke : A husband and wife came for counseling after 20 years of marriage. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the 20 years they had been married. She went on and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured over the course of their marriage. Finally, after allowing this to go on for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and, after asking the wife to stand, embraced and kissed her passionately as her husband watched with a raised eyebrow. The woman shut up and quietly sat down as though in a daze. The therapist turned to the husband and said, `This is what your wife needs at least three times a week. Can you do this?` The husband thought for a moment and replied, `Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I fish.` [ Details ]